3 tips to reduce wedding planning stress
The number one question that I get the moment someone hears that I am recently engaged is "So do you have a wedding date yet?"
It is seemingly such a simple, innocent question yet the pressure to have everything outlined and already in order can certainly feel daunting.
From the realization and excitement that you are taking that leap to be in a union and all the changes that will come with such a partnership to the reality that unless you go the courthouse route, there will be a litany of boxes that need to be checked as you plan.
I am finding that as I begin the planning process, as much as I keep saying that I am not going to stress and will just go with the flow, the most minor of details can bring up emotions of frustration, disappointment or even tension.
So in a resolve to make wedding planning a positive process that can be enjoyed, these are the tips that I am finding as the best way to manage the stress.
1) Let go of control - No one wants a bridezilla
I know, this is your 1 day, my 1 day. The day some may have dreamt of their entire lives. We want everything to be perfect, for everything to be as it was on our vision board or in the latest Bridal Magazine.
For me personally, it has been a challenge picking a date that fits around a few criteria we desired. When we finally did pick a date, we realized it fell in the heart of spring break and the traffic at our location was guaranteed to be a zoo.
Living in Florida we felt limited to certain months out of the year so we were rather disappointed at the thought of needing to change the date. So despite going back and forth on a suitable replacement date and wanting to control the date to avoid Spring Break traffic, to avoid possible rain, a possible hurricane and all else involved in the inevitably Florida weather patterns, I realized there would always be "something" that would be out of my control.
I had to let go. I had to surrender.
Make decisions based on what you can control and attempt to not force a decision, a plan etc. that is causing too much anxiety.
Chances are if a plan is being forced, it may ultimately not be what turns out for the best in the end. Go the easy route and much as possible and be open to the idea that control is just a fallacy of the imagination.
At the end of the day, the universe will do what it does best and things will fall into place if you just believe and trust the process.
2) Set a wedding budget and stick with it.
Studies show that the #1 cause of divorce is due to financial stress in a marriage. Planning a wedding is certainly the time when large funds are being shelled out at once and the tension can run high as a result.
The best way to create a budget is to figure out what you can realistically afford to spend - whether you and your partner are paying all costs yourself or if getting help from family.
Then decide how much you are actually willing to spend. Just because you can afford a $30,000 wedding doesn't mean that both partners want to spend that much money for a 1 day event.
A sure way to start a fight and to lose track of the real purpose of why you are getting married is to be on the opposite side of the table in financial goals. Find a middle ground in what both people can feel comfortable with and stick to it.
Using a spreadsheet to write out desired wishlist set-ups, necessities and associated costs will help you track your budget so that you can have a clear idea of the total potential spend.
Maybe you can cut costs by doing DIY projects, having friends with certain skills (such as a DJ) donate their talent as your wedding gift etc.
In addition, if the wedding has to be paid via credit card debt, that may be your sign to cut back on the budget.
3) Continue normalcy in your relationships
If prior to getting engaged, you and your partner did dates dates, had fun, silly moments together, then focus on keeping that aspect of your relationship in tact...and if you never had those encounters, well that is another article lol...but now is certainly the time to build that intimacy in your time together.
With everything that has to be planned, there will be plenty of time to have serious conversations about the wedding.
However, ensure there are still days, dates, opportunities etc. where you converse on subject matters that have nothing to do with your upcoming nuptials.
Keep a date night, even if that means going to a less expensive restaurant to help you save, just so you have moments to just enjoy each other's company - stress free.
Also, avoid being completely absorbed in your relationship and your wedding planning.
For instance, if you would normally talk to your best friend about the stock market or about make-up, maintain those healthy conversations. No one wants to feel like all you care about is your life, your wedding.
Alright my loves....Wedding planning can be super positive or extremely stressful so I hope these 3 very simple tips will help in getting you to de-stress while planning your wedding.
Prayerfully you will find the ideal balance for you and your partner.
As you plan, remember that your wedding is only 1 day and make it the best 1 day possible while keeping your relationship 1st and in tact.
If you missed my post with my engagement details and why I said yes to my fiancé, click here.
Be sure to leave comments below on any other ideas for minimizing the stress level as I plan.
Until next time,
Peace & love,
Kamla-Kay